Friday, October 14, 2005

Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!

Total make over. No more crazy talk about badges. I'd rather talk about badgeRs.
I have a somewhat curious friend who talks of monkeys and badgers all the time. Some of you reading could or have had to pick him out in a line up. That's right. You're only queer if you care.
Anyway, I'm very perplexed about the whole badger obsession, so have decided to do a little research.
If you already know this stuff, you too fall into the 'off your box' category. Here goes.
There are 6 different kinds of badger. Eurasian, American, Hog, Ferret, Stink, and Honey.
I know what you're thinking because I thought it too. If I were a badger what kind would I be?
I could categorize a number of you, but won't for the mere fact none of you have any problem with retaliation or REVENGE.
Now, to get back on track. Badgers are huge in England. Apparently they really love them over there. Don't think too hard about that one.
I have enclosed a website from the UK where you can view badgers 24 hours a day on the BADGER WEBCAM! No lie. Check it out.
Badgers are rarely seen during the day, but forage for food at night. (like some people I know) Their favorite foods are earthworms, insects, roots, fruits and berries. At this point you're thinking, "If I want to learn about badgers, I'll just look up the information myself."
Fine. I can accept your desire for independent study, but I'll tell ya right now; there are over 950 websites devoted to the beloved badger. Better put the coffee on or 'suit' up! So just stop all your whining and appreciate the fact I've condensed this impertinent data for you.
If you find a hole that you think may be part of a badger's home, look around for badger's footprints and in the piles of spoil for badger hairs. This might sound weird to some of you, but knowing the difference between a badger hole and another kind of hole, could one day save your life or the lives of your loved ones. This info is not to be taken lightly, but with savage dedication to the fascinating life of 'the badger'.
I pray you take this information with you and join the thousands that have nothing better to do with their time than to watch badgers 24 hours a day.


spif said...

i have the WORST poop this a.m. Put me into the Stink Badger category.

coco the chimp said...

i once saw a honey badger in a hip hop video.

Howard said...

You forgot the all to common Mad badger,characterized by it's unusual fondness of Guiness

stinko the mammal said...

OMG, it's Howard, the oh-so-difficult to find South African badger! Howya doing? Liking our nutty friend's retardo blog? It certainly keeps me amused.

hipopanonymous/pass the chronic said...

OK, badgers....I don't think I'm high enough for this one, yet. I'll try again later.

Howard said...

Got to get you're La Force Bete Krank blog fix on a daily basis,she is rather talented,in a Mad Badger sorta way.

Howard said...

Hey those badgers are asleep,damn lazy English badgers,thats cause thay don't have Guiness.

La Feroce Bete said...

there aren't enough padded rooms in this world...

sara said...

Hey lame-o, add a new entry. I added TWO today, slackass.