Monday, December 15, 2008

if i could spell, i'd be dangerous

I'm FA-reeeE.zing.

I would be wearing my winter coat if I had use of my arms whilst in it. Unfortunately, I look like the kid from A Christmas Story sitting behind a cube wall flailing around in my chair. Every time I pick up my pencil or reach for the keyboard I spill a cup of coffee.

So - I have wrapped my scarf around my shoulders, layed my gloves across my thighs, and accumulated hours of "break" time making sure my coffee never reaches room temperature.

I'm STILL cold!

It is 40 degrees outside. It is cold outside. I am INSIDE. A shelter.

2: a position or the state of being covered and protected

I am not homeless, nor am I a stray, but I do see the word protection listed twice. Apparently, this office building does not consider itself a "shelter" and does not promise protection from frost bite, pneumonia, chipped teeth, muscle lock down, 2nd degree esophageal burns from chugging hot liquids, or sexual harassment due to nipple explosion.

I've even tried wearing my gloves. But my keyboard froze 6 times and I was even accidently spelling a word correctly here and there.

I don't know what to do. I'm at the end of my frozen extremities. It's either thermals or permanent brain damage.