Friday, October 14, 2005

Rice, Rice, Baby!

Stop! Grab a plate and listen.
Rice is back with a brand new addition.

I have finally proven myself worthy to be a contributing member of this greased pig contest we call a society! Lather me up with some crisco and let me loose. I may not be the fastest pig in the pen, but I sure as hell will entertain the masses with my "gimme some candy" self preservation. I need not explain to anyone who has walked a mile in my most recent rubber soled torture devices, the humiliation one incurs as a result of being unemployed. Any pride I clung to after my fright flight from the great peninsula was quickly replaced with humility and stark conformity. Even eight dollars an hour motivates the 'I don't want to live in a cardboard box next to Stinky Macpeedonmyself ' dreamer in all of us. As my penguin clad cohort Angela will attest to, there come moments in one's life when throwing in the towel just doesn't cut it. One must wet and roll that towel for an arse popping the banquet nazi won't soon be forgetting. One day I'll be forced by my therapist to look back on these days and cringe.
As for now I believe hard work, a little determination, and utter mortification are the perfect ingredients for success. I'm proud to announce I'm clearly not a psycho-maniacal cube filler. I enjoy long walks on the beach and playing with fire. Some may feel that is a dangerous quality but my new employers think it will add spice to my sales approach. I'm not quite up to par on their manageability standards. (which isn't a big surprise) My profile reports a lean slightly towards the loose cannon side. But I didn't share my 'you can stick your head up a butcher's ass' theory, so I'm safely part of the team!
I'm off to bask in my own glory. Tune in again. Same bat time, same bat channel!

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