Friday, September 30, 2005

Exciting and Challenging Career


JOB DESCRIPTION : Control student traffic....(no monkey business), Use state issued whistle on noncompliant students and teachers, Create single-file lines at a moment's notice, Record and report excessive lunchroom noise, Keep lunchroom ladies under control.

REQUIREMENTS : Safety certificate, must fit into one-size fits all uniform, preferably a mensa member, seeing-eye dog optional, former CIA welcome

*Please send resume to

1 comment:

Jed and Sara said...

Wanted: Human being or advanced primate to run local Water Park/Geriatric Pool. Self-awareness, creativity, and/or consciousness not prerequisites.

Applicant Requirements: Ability to waste up to 7.45 hours/day in a five-day work week. Must shave pubic area, or at least trim into interesting design. Distaste for the public at large a must.