Saturday, December 06, 2008

In my chair




If you have read my other blogs you know I spend twelve hours a day for three days in a chair. So I have decided to push the limits of my confines and record how many things I can do in my chair as opposed to grumping on about what I can't do. If you read something you feel stretches the physical realms of chairdome, shut your trap. It's my chair. And I'll do what I want.

1. Balance on my butt.

2. Day dream about being out of my chair.

3. Facebook stalk. (could be you)

4. Stew about how Ann Curry made it down from Mt. Kilimanjaro.

5. Leg lifts.

6. Breathe burnt popcorn. No one ever gets it right. Ever.

7. Plot about destroying microwave with stapler, so no more burnt popcorn.

8. Apply lip chap repeatedly.

9. Freeze.

10. Starve.

11. Count how many times Sergio walks to the break room. To burn popcorn.

12. Sergio is my "code" name for him. And he's on trip #7. He's been here 2 hours.

13. He's actually wearing a path into the carpet between his cube-o-cot and the vending machine.

14. Forget what I can do in my chair. Who cares. Sergio is up again.

15. His cell phone just went off and he's not there to answer it, mute it, or catch it before it vibrates onto the floor.

16. His disgruntled neighbor is now yelling out for him, b/c she's taking all the calls. She can see him flirting with a frontline tech across the room. He's been cube stalking her all morning and now has her barricaded. His arm motions tell me he's giving her tales of his anaconda.

17. Anaconda is NOT code.

18. He's back in his no work zone. But I think he's eating. Burnt popcorn.

19. He can see me watching him, but I don't care. I think it's fascinating. Like Animal Planet.

20. Oh. Up again. Coming my way... Gotta g*!^&*%&^$%@

2 comments:

Sara Fraser said...

This is priceless. Love Sergio. I do.

Annabunnie said...

I love this one. I can just picture you saying all of this stuff behind his back...

xo,
Rebel Deb