Wednesday, November 09, 2005

A Poem By the beast

If I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA...

If I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA
I would change my title to Chief Oldie Patrol.
I would hide beer under my desk.
I would learn how to play 'We Don't Need No Education' on my rubberband guitar.
I would make up cheers for the Y, like Go Y Go Y, Freeze and Let the YMCA Do It!
I would horde all the basketballs in my office and pretend to know nothing.
If I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA
I would bring Jager and M&M's to go with my beer.
I would set up a fake keypad outside of my door and make people punch in the right numbers or press their thumbs up to it. And I would deny half of them access.
I would hold moments of silence over the intercom for all the roadkill I caused peeling rubber out of the parking lot at 5 o'clock.
I f I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA I would change the acronym meaning to Yo Mom's a Crank Addict.
I would slip a couple o' wisk disks into the swimming pool. Day Off!
I would require all my lifegaurds to pass the go get me a sandwich manuever.
Oh life would be so grand to be the Aquatics Director at the YMCA!!!

2 comments:

YMCA Aquatics Director Extraordinaire said...

You are SICK! I like the "go get me a sandwich task" though, that's good thinking.

By the by, I'm going to make fun of your job as soon as I find out what you do, exactly, other than torment the general public.

La Feroce Bete said...

i don't consider tormenting the general public work, i rather take pleasure in it like a hobby or grossly overdeveloped talent.