The Countess: All of us are freaks in one way or another. Try being born a male Russian Countess into a white, middle class, Baptist family in Mississippi, and you'll see what I mean.
About Me
- La Feroce Bete
- Greenville, South Carolina, United States
- ..everywhere i go someone tries to set me on fire..
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, April 03, 2011
It Rains for Me
I knew you were talking about the rain when you said it would be alright.
But I opened my eyes anyway and kept to the horizon.
Salt water and bullshit stung my face.
You said once the rain stopped the water would be smooth.
Like glass.
So my soul gave my conscience the thumbs up and went in search of calmer seas.
And found them.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
It's agitating that she is fretting about not having butter for the biscuits when it's taking everything I have to not call and cancel the whole thing.
I expect I could blame it on the lack of butter, but he would know immediately it's because I am afraid.
That's dramatic. And presumptuous.
I would never use butter, or the lack there of, as an excuse for anything. And he wouldn't know - immediately.
But isn't butter an easier explanation for the past 30 years.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wayfarers and Such - Exercise #2
Dark men in dark corners can be overheard whispering such things as "Passion should be stirred by simply buying fruit at the market." This is exactly why Woody Allen spends two weeks a year in Paris. One would assume life as a pair of Ray Ban Wayfarers would be all visions of gumdrops and celebrities, but if you're Mr. Allen's concaved black rimmed glasses, you may not have a stomach for all the passions of the romantic city. "Psst, Iris!" "Psst." Iris peers over the edge of the provincial vanity she’s sitting on to see Black Sock with a Hole in the Toe, mangy and old at best, on the floor trying desperately to get her attention. With an heir of annoyance, Iris snaps, "I don’t know what it is about this city that makes you a sentimental basket case, but if I have to hear one more time about how Brad Pitt almost bought you right off Mr. Woody’s feet on a dare, I’m going to scream." Black Sock with a Hole in the Toe said, "Mais non, haven’t you been listening to Woody talking about changing his image? He’s been desperate for so long to stir his personal pot, I would think you'd be slightly more concerned than you appear." "If I were to freak out every time Woody mentioned changing his image, I'd be in a 50% OFF loony bin." Iris' confidence was built on years of public recognition. She was almost as famous as the producer himself! Woody hadn’t been photographed in 30 years without her. She had mastered capturing the light and angles of his face to please the paparazzi. "I’ll admit your confidence brings a slight comfort, but I would stake my threads there was talk of big chang..." "Shhh!" Iris cut off Black Sock with a Hole in the Toe just as Mr. Allen emerged from the shower and picked up Iris and placed her on his nose. She wasn’t just a part of him, she was him.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
The Original Artist
Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
As my focus shifts from one ambitious tree to the next their branches begin to emulate rivers. Each limb surges forward creating tributaries and creeks. Blossoms dance like campfire. Buds crackle and illuminate rosy shoulders. They are still and calm like sand banks to the eye, but chirp and flutter like a mighty current. Canaries in canoes sway against the breeze. Happy tubers grasp branches and avoid dark nooks. As my senses catch up to the warm sun against my cheeks I wonder at the similarities. God must have known how we would assimilate his creation. He knew the resemblances would be his artistic signature.
It's natural to follow artists we love. Even if we are not great art critics, we recognize the works of those we find appealing. We know their style because we like it and it speaks to our senses. We gravitate to their interpretations of reality.
Have you ever thought about how the first artistic interpretation was spoken from God's lips, THE original artist, into being? We are just a room in His museum. His work is below us, above us, and around us. It is clearly His. We would know it in any gallery in the universe. We would know it in any pawn shop, street stand, corner market, or art festival. God doesn't even have to sign his name and we know it's His.
But would we recognize an imposter? A fake?
The greatest artists are recognized by their style, special signature, and in some cases careful examination. There are many forgers out to recreate the works of great artists in order to deceive and manipulate, but the experts who have studied the artist, know the art and its authenticity. They know because they are familiar with every stroke, every dot of the eye, and every wrinkle in the canvas. When we pray and study God's word He reveals to us special evidence that helps us recognize His creation and will for it.
Hebrews 11:3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
(New International Version, ©2011)
As my focus shifts from one ambitious tree to the next their branches begin to emulate rivers. Each limb surges forward creating tributaries and creeks. Blossoms dance like campfire. Buds crackle and illuminate rosy shoulders. They are still and calm like sand banks to the eye, but chirp and flutter like a mighty current. Canaries in canoes sway against the breeze. Happy tubers grasp branches and avoid dark nooks. As my senses catch up to the warm sun against my cheeks I wonder at the similarities. God must have known how we would assimilate his creation. He knew the resemblances would be his artistic signature.
It's natural to follow artists we love. Even if we are not great art critics, we recognize the works of those we find appealing. We know their style because we like it and it speaks to our senses. We gravitate to their interpretations of reality.
Have you ever thought about how the first artistic interpretation was spoken from God's lips, THE original artist, into being? We are just a room in His museum. His work is below us, above us, and around us. It is clearly His. We would know it in any gallery in the universe. We would know it in any pawn shop, street stand, corner market, or art festival. God doesn't even have to sign his name and we know it's His.
But would we recognize an imposter? A fake?
The greatest artists are recognized by their style, special signature, and in some cases careful examination. There are many forgers out to recreate the works of great artists in order to deceive and manipulate, but the experts who have studied the artist, know the art and its authenticity. They know because they are familiar with every stroke, every dot of the eye, and every wrinkle in the canvas. When we pray and study God's word He reveals to us special evidence that helps us recognize His creation and will for it.
Hebrews 11:3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
(New International Version, ©2011)
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
It's Against The Law To Pawn Your Dentures In Las Vegas
Flutterby!! ~ A 2005 La Feroce Bete Post
The names of Popeye's four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!
No piece of square dry paper can be folded more than 7 times in half!
Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people!
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second!
It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas!
There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S, than real ones!
Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!
You'll eat about 35,000 cookies in a lifetime! Wow!
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!
Slugs have 4 noses!
In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs!
In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter."!
Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women!
The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'!
It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.
In Tennessee, a law exists which prohibits the sale of bologna (sandwich meat) on Sunday.
There are four cars and eleven lightposts on the back of a ten dollar bill.
The names of Popeye's four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!
No piece of square dry paper can be folded more than 7 times in half!
Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people!
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second!
It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas!
There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S, than real ones!
Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!
You'll eat about 35,000 cookies in a lifetime! Wow!
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!
Slugs have 4 noses!
In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs!
In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter."!
Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women!
The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'!
It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.
In Tennessee, a law exists which prohibits the sale of bologna (sandwich meat) on Sunday.
There are four cars and eleven lightposts on the back of a ten dollar bill.
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