One day you gonna wake up and you ain't gonna have no hos. Its gonna happen.
About Me
- La Feroce Bete
- Greenville, South Carolina, United States
- ..everywhere i go someone tries to set me on fire..
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
A Poem By the beast
If I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA...
If I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA
I would change my title to Chief Oldie Patrol.
I would hide beer under my desk.
I would learn how to play 'We Don't Need No Education' on my rubberband guitar.
I would make up cheers for the Y, like Go Y Go Y, Freeze and Let the YMCA Do It!
I would horde all the basketballs in my office and pretend to know nothing.
If I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA
I would bring Jager and M&M's to go with my beer.
I would set up a fake keypad outside of my door and make people punch in the right numbers or press their thumbs up to it. And I would deny half of them access.
I would hold moments of silence over the intercom for all the roadkill I caused peeling rubber out of the parking lot at 5 o'clock.
I f I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA I would change the acronym meaning to Yo Mom's a Crank Addict.
I would slip a couple o' wisk disks into the swimming pool. Day Off!
I would require all my lifegaurds to pass the go get me a sandwich manuever.
Oh life would be so grand to be the Aquatics Director at the YMCA!!!
If I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA
I would change my title to Chief Oldie Patrol.
I would hide beer under my desk.
I would learn how to play 'We Don't Need No Education' on my rubberband guitar.
I would make up cheers for the Y, like Go Y Go Y, Freeze and Let the YMCA Do It!
I would horde all the basketballs in my office and pretend to know nothing.
If I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA
I would bring Jager and M&M's to go with my beer.
I would set up a fake keypad outside of my door and make people punch in the right numbers or press their thumbs up to it. And I would deny half of them access.
I would hold moments of silence over the intercom for all the roadkill I caused peeling rubber out of the parking lot at 5 o'clock.
I f I were the Aquatics Director at the YMCA I would change the acronym meaning to Yo Mom's a Crank Addict.
I would slip a couple o' wisk disks into the swimming pool. Day Off!
I would require all my lifegaurds to pass the go get me a sandwich manuever.
Oh life would be so grand to be the Aquatics Director at the YMCA!!!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
La Feroce Bete in Disguise....
| My Monster Profile |
Basilisk Enigma |
Monday, October 31, 2005
Kahlil Gibran on Friendship
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay." And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay." And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Daily Discoveries by ME!
Today I realized I may be a little too competative. In my head I'm racing against the girl in the cubicle beside me, but I can't even see her and have know idea what she's actually doing. I also may have a gambling addiction hidden inside. I also think I may have taken a really old vitamin this morning. Not because I feel any differently, but b/c my pee was flourescent green instead of the new neon yellow hue I had been producing. Guys like my shirt. The highlighter on my desk is the same color as my healthy vitamin pee. That would actually be a really cool new crayon name. (Vitamin Pee) I don't like green runt candies. I can't tell what flavor they are and that bothers me. Plus they're gross. I threw a half eaten hashbrown at some protestors today.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!
Elvis was spotted today leaving Las Vegas with Tornado Jed and Stinky the Badger. According to sketchy, but often correct sources, the trio was headed for the Canyons O' Grand. Awaiting their arrival was a peculiar being not familiar to any. Tornado and Stinky could be quoted saying, "He was a minister." However, the affirmation never came. Apparently, the two haven't seen a minister in quite some time and could not be positive as to their assumption. Fortunately for them, Elvis aka Dave, attested that in fact it was a minister and yes he was there to perform a miraculous bonding ceremony involving Stinky and the Tornado. Items were sent from the great state of South Carolina to adorn the bride herself on this special day. Amongst these items were a handkerchief (old), beautiful earings (new), and a garter (borrowed and blue). We will continue investigating into the awe inspiring events of Tuesday, October 25th.
Stay Tuned.
Updates at Eleven.
Stay Tuned.
Updates at Eleven.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Sesame Chicken Blues
Who am i kidding? I had NO idea what Sesame Chicken blues actually were until about 6 hours later.
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